Despite our supposedly terrible scores in Math, many people in the U.S. seem to like formulas. People outside of the U.S. like formulas as well. It’s just that they tend to be much more talented mathematically. Is this esoteric enough yet? Great. Then it’s time to explain.
Recently it’s dawned on me that we adhere to many rules and formulas for situations that inherently have none. Dating is one such situation. Surely, if you were to start dating someone in the U.S., you might encounter very specific rules like how men must pay for the date. Another oddly specific rule from the female perspective, is that you aren’t supposed to give out at least until the third date.
The above two rules are just a taste of many rules that combine and become an alleged formula for starting a perfect relationship/dating life, as written by “experts”. Ironically, many of these “experts” are unhappily married, divorced, or somewhat shitty at maintaining relationships. Guess they can’t take their own advice?
This got me thinking about my dating life and of how many rules got broken in it. Those relationship experts would not be happy with me, to say the least. Kidding aside, with hundreds of millions of people dating out there, how can a handful of formulas work? Especially considering the reality that many of us are taught how unique, and special we are. Realistically, no one can be that unique, but there’s just so many of us from different places, and different backgrounds that the formulaic approach to anything based foremost on emotion seems ludicrous.
Thankfully, at some point, it seems that people realize this and that when another person is worth keeping around, the truly insignificant rules become just that. Shit, what if both people genuinely fall in love on the first date? Is the classic, and ridiculous rule of waiting a couple days until contacting them again worth it? Probably not. Then again, in defense of the “experts” overwhelming one another with excitement is not always smart.
Whatever happens, there will never be a formula. Some of what the guru’s say may be right when it comes to reading people, but relying on some magic love-formula, or set of rules seems futile. Love always seems to find it’s way to everyone, whether they know it or not.