“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” – Epicurus
If you ever have the opportunity to get swept up in an ambitious undertaking, there will be many moments where all hope seems lost. Thus is the nature of doing big things. You have everything to lose when you put yourself out there, but also have twice as much to gain. Being passionate means being vulnerable. This is just the way it goes.
Some say success is a ladder. Others say it’s a long curvy road. While success is definitively subjective, it seems to me from stories, and from experience, success is more like a giant set of stairs which you can only climb with your hands. If you fall down a ladder you are fucked. And the road analogy works, except that it doesn’t portray failure correctly.
Climbing stairs with your bare hands is difficult. And when you get tired, or falter, you’ll get stuck on those stairs. In that period of being stuck, you’re left to ruminate on your next course of action. What could be the problem? Money, random bouts of self-deprecation, a familialcrisis, procrastination?
Problems are numerous and come in many different forms. In the problematic moments, you have to dig deep and find that initial spark of hope that got you going in the first place. Fuck if that is easy to do. Fortunately, it gets easier and easier every time. Then you end up crafting a method to finding that spark. It’s a horribly wonderful thing. But it only ever comes with refusing to give up. Hope is like that secret ingredient in a dish. Sometimes it just doesn’t seem to make any sense.